TOP 10 WAYS TO CLIMB THE HOLLYWOOD SOCIAL LADDER!

June 7, 2009

1. Save Josh Richman’s life, because lets face it, the man is king of The Hollywood Night Life and rules his kingdom with an iron cane. I figure if you save his life the least he owes you is entrance to a couple of his clubs and maybe a bottle or two if he is in a good mood. If you are really desperate you might want to stage a mugging and come running to his rescue, which would probably cement your name in the Hollywood nightclub scene as “The Person Who Saved Josh Richman’s Life”. 
2. Be a celebrity, because every club promoter wants to be able say Paris Hilton was at my club last night, or I turned down that washed up, has been, cock-head reality TV star from the show Laguna Beach, Jason Wahler. Spencer would definitely kick your ass. My pledge brother, never yours.
3. Buy Bottles!!!! The main goal of a club is to make money and if you drop between 2 and 4 grand a night, there is no way they won’t let you in the next time you come.
4. Become friends with a celebrity and tag along for the ride, and eventually they will notice that you’re there every night and kind of remember your face, but definitely not your name.
5. Be a smoking hot chick. Chicks always get in and it pisses me off, but then again what is a club without hot chicks? A gay club, and who wants to go to one of those?
6. Ask Kevin Knutson - I will give you his number upon request. I don’t know how he did it, but some how this guy is friends with Jessica Simpson’s ex, Nick Lachey and bad ass baseball closer Brian Wilson, the real life “Kenny Powers.”
7. Come to the club with 5 chicks; if you do that you’re probably gay because what straight guy rolls out at night with 5 of his girlfriends? And the girls better be hot or your ass is waiting in line like everyone else.
8. Bum rush the entrance when they let a celebrity and their entourage in. 30% of the time this will work because its such a mess at the entrance and they don’t know who’s with who. This will only work at huge clubs like KRESS.
9. Not everyone can go to the “Hollywood Hot Spots” so you might want to start off at second rate clubs like Element, Sugar or Club Deviate which is an 18 and older club. If you’re 21 or older and attend club Deviate you are probably one of the biggest d-bags in the world. True Story: My dear friend Mike Condon tried to get me to go one time…. I of course said no. And he’s not a D-Bag he just really likes 18-20 year olds from inland Orange County.
10. If these top 9 fail you, you’re shit out of luck and you have to wait in line with everyone else hoping to get in. In that case, it sucks to be you. HAHA. LOL

                                                                                                                                                                courtesy of: baumbaumblog.com

ANGELINA JOLIE

  

Angelina Jolie look-a-like due to plastic surgery [1st picture]

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Angelina Jolie turns down Oprah Winfrey

as the #1 most powerful celebrity
in the Forbes Magazine… 

JAMES BOND ICE CREAM BAR

 

Del Monte just created a James Bond ice cream bar. I know that James Bond is a bad ass and fucks a lot a shit up, both his victims and his women. But that does not mean that I want to put a chocolate flavored sculpture of him in my mouth and neither does any other straight male. Girls are too worried about getting fat then the satisfaction they get by sticking James Bond in there Mouth. I guess there is only one market for these James Bond Ice Cream Bars, that is fat gay guys. Maybe they should send a year’s supply over to Perez Hilton.